我胆小。
不熟悉的事物，我会有无以名状的害怕。
读书考试，不会回答我会怕。
工作，不懂的事，我会害怕。
驾车，不会路我就会怕。
下雨打雷会怕。
恐怖片？小生怕怕。
害怕得罪人。
拒绝孤单，但又怕人群里纷涌而至的寂寞。
想摆脱青涩，却害怕长大。
没有自信的时候，更加怕。
怕的事情太多。
负荷过重的心脏，更害怕失去。
茫然。Don’t know when will it stop.
“我很想开口/惊你皱眉头。。。我想要幸福/偏偏变得自卫/青春身体/但有污迹想洗。。”AT17的“无家想归”，多少刻划了现在的心情。
Guffaw!
ReplyDeleteSo much for Malaysia truly Asia. Give me one reason why it somehow represents "Asia" when they are all just a bunch of lazy malays sitting their fat asses in their coconut leaf kampung munching on keropok while the minority races earn money for them!
Malays are known for their "tidak apa" attitude and it goes all the way back in history even to Singapore when the lazy Sultan relinquished rights to his own kingdom to the British for a measly $2000+ bucks.
Don't focus on the money. Focus on how this so-called ruler deserted his country for a wad of notes to sit lazily with his 100 wives, concubines and banana leaf fanners in a then kampung on some deserted part of the island.
I admit Singapore has a whole side of racism that is underhanded and very strong……….but to practice, admit and continue to uphold it while throwing weak, pathetic justifications (if you can even call it one) as if the people are so STUPID really makes everyone else fume.
What is it about these Bumis (son of the land in HINDI, by the way) that make them think they are somehow superior to every Asian (then to the Pakistani tribune posters attitudes) in the region?
What? Their "language"? Their "culture"? Their "achievements"?
As have pointed out achievement wise - we all know better.
Culture wise, leaves a lot to the imagination. Did you know the malay language has only 7 original words in it? The rest of that is Arabic, Hindi and a smattering of plain bad English (what the hell is "farmasi" - pharmacy, "restoran"- restaurant, and a zillion other words that are just English with horribly mutilated spelling?).
So what language? It is even written in English. Some might argue it is Jawi, but Jawi is an Arabic script of the pronunciations of their malay language that actually originated from Indonesia.
If they want to wear rose tinted glasses ("Oh, Malaysia is the most progressive country, even comparing to Singapore, Taiwan and surpassing Thailand!" Right!) and lie to themselves instead of addressing the problem and fixing it……….how do they expect to change?
You see news about how much they have "achieved" in terms of academia but common it is the same as that - they wouldn't go squat if they went independently and were judged on a regional scale.
They say they have "1st world infrastructure" but if one just steps into Thailand and road trips to Johor baru and moves over to KL, they'd do a double takes……….
"wait……….did I just leave the checkpoint in Thailand to Malaysia or am I still in Thailand?"
They have potholes everywhere in their roads. Theirs shops NEVER open on time, everywhere you go countless of Malaysians attempt to rip you off, especially the taxi drivers (they don't go by the meter. They charge like RM8.00 for a ride that starts at RM2.00 and probably ends at RM3.50) and those who own food establishments.
They have horrible transportation that branches out EVERYWHERE and have no hint of organization of ANY kind, that is, until someone other than a puffy chest, air headed malay takes over the reins.
They have litter EVERYWHERE on their roads, you see very suggestively clad girls sitting on every nook and cranny especially in Johor, probably where dirty, cheap men from Singapore come to patronize those who ply their trade in ringgit terms - but then, there is a twist - there is a policeman right at the corner!
Gee, I wonder what he is doing just 2 meters away from the OBVIOUS tartly chest popping tank topped, mini-skirt and pink fish hosed girl sitting on that high stool by the doorway of a suggestively dimmed light stairway leading upstairs while making faces at passing men?
They have dirty food stalls with flies buzzing around every corner, their banks are disorganized, one shopping center has an ATM from Bank of Malaysia, while the nearest Bumiputera Finance bank is a whopping 2 miles from wherever you are standing!
They give bad service, if you'd believe me, many of them hardly speak English and it is sad to hear and read that Malaysia's taxi drivers even rip off Malaysians!
If one has noticed the only picture anyone ever remembers anything Malaysia is the one of the KL towers! In fact, that is the only picture you see? Why? Because that is the only thing that they have that looks like its from a 1st world country!
They have starry-eyed magazines that show some unattainable, magical, imaginary high flying lifestyle that every Malaysian seem to have - but in fact wherever you walk there, it is poverty that screams its head out at you everywhere.
I could go on and on and on. Malaysia has to learn how to be humble if it wants to improve itself!
It is not to say Singapore don' t have its own problems I'd be happy to rant about, but at least Singapore has something solid (like the fact it does look like a 1st world country in many ways……….although there is lots to be said about how much it has to go to be even close to being one in terms of mentality, and so on.) to lean on.
Yes. English. How ironic that this champion of the malay language who advocates that no other language shall be taught in this country chooses to write his pathetic views in the language of the British masters.
ReplyDeleteWhile I am sure that this is not a view shared by the silent majority of malays, I am somewhat disturbed that in this day and age, one still can find such a backward thinking individual who oozes fanaticism.
Whose fault? Barisan Nasional and its policies of divide and rule that closed the eyes and minds of Malaysians to the fact. Waving the keris does not help either.
Walk into any kampong today, and you can still see pockets of old people sitting together over coffee - each speaking in Chinese, Malay and even a smattering of Tamil. The best part is that they all understand each other perfectly well.
At this age of globalization, it really is time Malaysians stop bickering about their own versions of history, the social contract, special rights and what not. Let's face the cold hard facts. This country would not be where it is today without the contributions of any one of the three races.
Yes, the malays were the first to populate the land. Yes, the Chinese and the Indians were brought by the British as settlers. But that was a long time ago. Every Chinese, Indian and Malay child born in Malaysia today knows no other home country.
We are citizens of Malaysia, and we are tourists in India and China. We feel our fathers have all contributed equally to build this country up, and we sure don't understand why we are treated different in our quest to take this country to greater heights.
The time really has come to leave race based politics and policies behind, and compete as one unified country in today's world, or we risk falling back in the race, only to argue about special rights, university intake, vernacular education, etc.
In Malaysia, race and language are not the main divide, class is.
Put Malaysians of different races of a similar social class together and they click, more so if they speak English in addition to malays. Try getting someone from the upper echelons to mingle with someone from the lower strata and they find it awkward whether they are from the same race or not.
To bridge this class divide, we need poverty eradication coupled with equitable distribution of wealth and also equal opportunities in employment and education, which means offering assistance and opportunities based on need and merit, not race or political connections.
That way the poor regardless of race will be helped, talents regardless of race will gain recognition and malay achievements will never again simply be shrugged off as 'special' assistance.
I hope someone will tell him and put him in his place. It is chilling and we should not tolerate people like him, not even for an inch!
It is an unnecessary obstacle.
ReplyDeleteThe traditional ties between Australia and Malaysia have historically been strong. Both countries should not have to suffer setbacks because of the irrational demands and inordinate politicking of politicians who should know better.
It is not an Asian value to show ingratitude to countries like Australia and New Zealand that have been the region's traditional friends. Malaysia should show its sincerity by helping Australia's efforts in juxtaposing with Asia. Ironically, it is Indonesia which is now doing that.
People-to-people relations among Australian and Asean countries have always been sound and friendly. But the actions of individual politicians and their personal differences have soured bilateral relations in the past.
Australia has much to offer Asean countries in the way it functions as a democratic nation and its educational and research resources. Asean countries meanwhile will continue to provide for Australia a huge pool of talent, a huge market for Australian products and services and an enrichment of Australian society through cultural diversity.
In the war against corruption, there is much Asean countries can learn from Australia. Often, governments think in terms of the detection and punishment of corrupt acts. But it is the preventative measures that offer a better solution.
Australia's relatively transparent bureaucracy, the rule of law, a free media, community attitudes and other checks and balances ensure corruption is not a serious social problem unlike in several Asean countries. The Australian police forces in particular, have been the subject of many inquiries in different states that have resulted in prosecutions.
A win-win result for the region is only possible when politicians think beyond narrow politics for the benefit of true regional cooperation and mutual economic prosperity. That should be the spirit of Asean.
We are now living in a global world with many countries borders being dismantled and the word "foreign" should be gone soon.
ReplyDeleteIf our forefathers can escape poverty from their former countries and make a fortune in Malaysia - in the same token, some can escape the "education" disparity and make good in somewhere else with hardship of course.
It is ironic to find that most of not all Asians doing extremely well in the US and Europe and the so-called "minority" have becomes very significantly important citizens (taxpayers as well), who excel in academic or many professionals fields including medicine, and some of these brilliant professionals are "invited" back to Malaysia to contribute to Malaysia.
One can take 10 years to develop a country or 100 years as you wish, and look around some Asian countries today and it is not difficult to find out why……….Who makes the difference - good and bad - it is only human.
We should think of contribution to the global and not confine to a country which will certainly widen our horizon and contribution to humanity.
If we really feel better that we must serve, we might as well consider ourselves as global citizens.
I was studied in Melbourne Australia for 2 years, I met a lot of Malaysians who had emigrated to the country, some of them work in big company such as Nissan, NEC, etc, some of them open restaurants (there are Malaysian restaurants everywhere in Australia), and their life is good and fairly treated by the locals.
ReplyDeleteIn Melbourne, a lot of Malaysians (99% Chinese) live in a suburbs, most of them send their kids to local school, and all have no problem on their race and nationality because besides Malaysian, there are also a lot of Indonesian, Japanese, Singaporean, Turkish, Vietnamese, etc. They can learn their own language without any restriction from the authorities. And everyone is compete on level playing field, everything is based on merit.
The living environment there is very nice, clean air and water (water can directly drink from tap), nicely built roads and residential area, almost perfect mass transit system (although I feel that Singapore is better) where you can live and travel easily without own car. Living cost there is relatively cheaper compare to KL (dollar to dollar).
The main reason for this migration is that some of them felt that they were second-class citizens (the Chinese) and third-class citizens (the Indians) in the country that they were born in. The high cost of living and non-support from the government have also resulted in smaller families among the non-malays.
For those who ran away or are thinking about running, my best wishes to you. But for the others who stand and fight, my respect for you.
Many, many thanks for all pertinent comments……….I agree with most of them, being in a similar position myself……….
ReplyDeletePoints taken. Get a little bit nasty, but that is some facts.
I am an engineer. Like architect and other parties, we design and built houses based on the developer's vision and decision. If the house is very small, poor design, bad finishes but still at an unreasonable high price, I will walk away.
I will advice my friends not to buy it, based on my professional experience and some logic, it is not that difficult, really. But it is their money, they have the freedom to decide what they wanted to do with it.
But believe it or not, someone will still stay there. Can't even afford to buy, consider lucky if they are able to clear the monthly rental.
And I have some malay friends, thinking of emigrating, mainly because most Muslims Malaysia here didn't see things the way they saw it, especially on the religion matters. Oh yes, some perceptions never really change throughout the years.
Once a while I will still welcome my uncle from Australia to visit us here. He is one lucky emigrant, I guess, he is well taken care over there.
It is very sad, it is so sad to see Malaysia's brightest minds are all over the world except Malaysia.
The person who is researching into getting water for Singapore is a Malaysian. The head of Parapsychology in Cambridge is Malaysian. The best doctors in the world many are Malaysians.
Yet, they are nowhere near Malaysia.
In Singapore, it is fast and efficient to get a permanent resident. In fact, foreigners in Singapore are invited to become permanent citizens. Here Malaysia, it takes years and years and years and……….to even be considered to become a permanent citizen. I heard of foreigner whose application was lost and had to resubmit. How is that?
All this while I think many of us are dying to go to Australia, Europe, the US, for a better future……….
Another brilliant Malaysian got scared off by the Malaysia government. Just had a long distance phone conversation with my Malaysian friend who is now pursuing his PhD in civil engineering in the UK.
According to him, he sees no more hope and future in Malaysia and totally ruled out the chance of ever returning, except for the occasional visits to relatives and friends.
Kudos to BN Umno government. When it comes to scaring off all the brilliant brains out of the country, you are clearly a master at it.
I've finally come to enlightenment. If you argue with a fool, it ends up two fools are arguing. When I've done with my business here in Malaysia, I will be packing up for emigration.
I may end up as a second class citizen. Who cares? Since when are we treated like a Bangsa Malaysia anyway after 48 years of independence? I have nothing to lose but everything to gain.
Don't slog and waste your life away in Malaysia. You will never be appreciated. Leave if you can!
I am not aware that malay race is the cause of so much problems in this country until I came across to this. I would like to congratulate for their endless effort to tell the world that Malaysia will be better off if the malays are not in the administration, the business, the politic or in the sport.
ReplyDeleteMany see the failure of government-linked companies (GLCs) as reflecting bumis aptitude and competence for commerce, conveniently for getting the similar dismal fate of such corporations in China and India.
Nonetheless, those ugly racist perceptions persist. I would have thought that should have motivated those currently running GLCs to excel.
After 22 years at the helm, Mahathir admitted that he failed in his attempt to change the mindset of the malays and hence failed too, to wean the malays off the NEP.
In fact, they have become over-dependant on it. Now it is going to extend to year 2020. Take it from me, even if it is a bet, the situation of the malays would be even worse then.
I am telling out of sincerity. It is an acknowledged fact that the poor malays have lost out to the elite malays, and rich corporate malay dynasties have been created which will see to it that the NEP is here to stay forever.
The tastes of life and comfort, not to mention the greed, have all but destroyed the essence and spirit of the NEP.
Malaysia bills itself as a model of peaceful multiculturalism, but despite nearly half a century of nationhood, the races that make up its population have never been further apart.
Separate social lives, separate schools, separate friends - Malaysia marks 48 years of independence but many citizens lament the lack of ties between majority malays, and the Chinese and the Indians living alongside them.
When the NEP was initiated, it made much sense. Reversing the consequence of the British's divide and rule policy needed to do.
But it had one serious flaw - it defined poverty and other socio-economic ailments on racial terms, i.e. all malays are poor etc.
Whether the move was intentional or not, is an academic question. But it resulted in Malaysia slowly evolving into a racist state where one's skin color dictated much of one's fortune in life.
Eventually, the NEP's noble aims were debased to such as an extent that even a simple admission and promotion exercise within the civil service were dictated by narrow racial considerations.
It has resulted in degradation in quality, best exemplified by University Malaya embarrassing crowing of its position as top 200 universities in the world. The award of ISO standard is made the yardstick for quality; embarrassing and laughable but that is how low we have sunk.
There will be incompetent malays and non-malay. Just like there will always be competent malays and non-malays.
If the government wants to increase the participation of the malays in the corporate sector, they should encourage the private sector to build goodwill by hiring more malays and give them a chance to prove themselves.
Once it is made voluntary, people will respond. Not all will respond, but many will respond and they will do so willingly and without bitterness. Putting in place quotas and racists policies is not going to build goodwill in the non-malay community.
And the slide will continue as long as racism pervades every sphere of the Malaysian life. Someday must the folly of all these will be realised and remedial actions will be taken.
You see, my family and I have, like one family, decided to leave Malaysia.
ReplyDeleteCertainly, it is my belief that if I do not take my family out of this country, I will continue to subject my child, and her children after her, to the continuing injustice of this contract.
I often thought the new administration under our new prime minister presents new hopes for fairer treatment.
Alas, just as the previous prime minister was an exciting breath of fresh air some 22 years ago but proved so putrid much later on, I feel I cannot subject my child and her children after her, to the same risk.
That risk being that this prime minister too, may abandon fresh hopes for justice in exchange for immediate gains to himself, his family, his supporters and his race.
If a bright, very well educated, articulate - ruling party - young man espoused thoughts which totally ignored the fundamental injustice of our system, what future does our country hold?
If this is future prime minister material, then I really feel people like one and I are doing the right thing by taking our children out.
Bright people may not be just people. No matter how bright and well educated our future leaders are, if they choose to continue to hold on to an obviously unjust system, we cannot subject our children's future to these leaders.
My father did not have the opportunity to leave. I now have to pay the price of starting anew - abandoning a secured and well-paid job - so that my child escapes the injustice.
Am I enjoying life here in KL? You bet. Like my wife and I draw incomes for lifestyles too painful to sacrifice.
Yet, if we choose to be concerned only with our own job security and comfortable lifestyles, our child may one day be faced with the decision I now face.
What if she does not have the same opportunity to leave for another country? I feel I must leave now, while the window remains open.
Malaysia for sure is better than Singapore as per below:
ReplyDeleteBetter in making a fool of ourselves to the world - water talk, Proton car etc
Better in illegal stuffs - pirated VCDs, DVDs etc
We brag about Twin Towers - (serves as a white elephant) - tendency rate is so low - it is losing $$$$$……….
Don't fool ourselves - go check on the Internet and see what other countries perceive us……….
Yes, nationalism and irrational pride have fooled most people in Malaysia.
Petronas operations in exploiting the national treasure (oil and gas) are essentially run wholly by the highly paid experts.
My expert friend in Petronas told me that he does most of the work (analyze, study, writing reports and recommendations) and the local national managers take the credit. He has no quarrel with that as long as he got his good salary. (A typical Malaysian engineer earns RM5000 a month while he earns RM50000 a month.)
Petronas is producing 700000 barrels of oil per day (excluding natural gas). Assuming US$40 a barrel and a conversion rate of 1US$ = RM3.8 - the revenue per day is RM107100000……….I wonder where the money goes……….
Proton car in the eyes of the experts is an imitators and the quality does not come close to that of Toyota, Honda, Ford etc.
The university is accepting unqualified students of a certain race and churn out graduates of useless academic degrees, the private sector is well aware of what these graduates skill sets and not hiring them.
If we don't recognize our shortcomings and starts amending……….we will always be stagnant……….
In Malaysia it is all about race and religion. Other than the old South Africa, I think Malaysia is the only country that officially practice racial discrimination.
ReplyDeleteThere are very few countries (if any) in the world where government promotes affirmative action for the majority.
Look at the NEP, the housing discount for malays, the number of malays in all government composition of political parties. How come nobody complain to United Nation?
This proves to the world that Bolehland is one country two standards. Pak Lah said he is fair to all citizens, and he is the prime minister for all Malaysians. Is he?
No wonder, our Malaysia country has become a laughing stock to the world. What kind of message is our country sending to the media?
We are almost coming to 50 years after independence - surely the country has matured sufficiently to accept that democracy, whatever its weaknesses, works best for all.
For a 48 years old person - Bolehland is an overgrown imbecile who is clearly a very spoilt brat. What more is that it has also started to exhibit symptoms of senility.
This is a great shame for someone who has never managed to grow up to an adult. Without reaching adulthood, it has directly become senile. If that is not the fault of the government ruling parties, one cannot think of any other reasons.
The worst thing is it happening under the nose of our prime minister who had so many times pledged and promised a fair and transparent administration.
Again one shameful decision by the authorities. Anyway, it is nothing new. In year 2020, it will still be the same. This 'senility' haven been spread out by the Umno-led government. And I don't see there is a cure even in the year 2020.
For heaven sake, Pak Lah, enough is enough, has the courage to remove his cabinet ministers before he make a vast mockery of our country.